I Got Botox

I’ve had crow’s feet for a while. Not sure when they developed (is that the right word?) but they’ve been a presence for some time. I turned that age this year, I continue to deal with my disease and I felt the need to…HAH! I JEST…I can’t even go on. I do have crow’s feet but I actually love them; I feel like they enhance my smile. Anyhoo, the point of this post.

As you know, my left side, the more affected side – both upper and lower extremities get stiff. The medical term for what I deal with is Spasticity. In quite basic terms, Spasticity is an increased rigidity of muscles due to brain or spinal cord injury. It is a condition in which muscles stiffen or tighten, preventing normal fluid movement. The muscles remain contracted and resist being stretched, thus affecting movement, speech and gait. A number of muscles in my left hand, arm and leg are in a state of constant contraction hence the constant curl of the hand, bend in the arm and stiffness in the leg. A number of MS patients are afflicted by Spasticity and (my opinion is) that’s one of the reasons that our movements tend to look the same. Over time, I have observed that our movements are so similar and I’ve actually guessed an MS diagnosis correctly once or twice. Years ago, I was prescribed muscle relaxants to help. I was on one, then two, then one (again) medication with varying dosages. Then I started using CBD oil and I was able to decrease from 20mgs 4X daily to 20mgs daily. That is my current dosage and I guess it works for me, although the muscles are still tight and they continue to contract. If you see any pictures of me, you’ll see that left arm is always bent and the hand looks like I’m ready to coff down somebody. Luckily for me, the spastic limbs are not painful and trust me, that fact is not lost on me, so I don’t have to deal with pain on top of everything else.

As it turns out, Spasticity is also treated with Botox. Botox is used to kill the nerves of the rigid muscles, thus stopping them from being in a state of constant contraction. During one of our sessions last year, my Occupational Therapist brought it up and asked her manager to give her opinion and she thought that I was a good candidate for that treatment. I was officially evaluated for it in August this year. Of course, it wasn’t as simple as “you are good for Botox” and “your appointment is…”. We had to get approval from my insurance company and the wait for an appointment was long. Anyway, I went in for my first round of Botox injections with Gilbert on November 16.

I used to think that insurance was a big rip off, especially when I didn’t understand the ins and outs/terms/how it works etc. Years ago, as a healthy person, I used to get angry when they sent my Explanation of Benefits statements and I saw how much they didn’t pay and how much I had to come out of pocket. Over the years, I’ve come to completely understand the lingo, inner workings and I’ve also come to realise that I’m very lucky because my insurance is quite good – I also “stick with the devil I know” because I’ve been with the same company since my diagnosis and boy am I glad, that as a sick person, I have it! Anyway, so I’ve been approved for one session of Botox every three months for a year. That first session included 15 shots into multiple areas of my arm, ranging from my biceps to muscles just above my wrist on my inner forearm. I was a little nervous/scared; it does involve a needle and I had no idea how it would feel altho I’ve seen videos of people sitting quite still like nothing is happening (side note: people look the same way when they get tattoos and I howled, cussed and squirmed the entire time mine was being drawn). It was fine though, once or twice I felt a slight pinch but nothing to write home about. Good news is that it didn’t affect my ability to do anything by the time I got home and it was a normal day.

The thought process is that those overworked muscles are deadened so the patient can work on strengthening the opposing muscles in order to regain some normalcy. So now back to therapy I go. Gilbert wanted me to wait at least 2 weeks before I started so I had my evaluation appointment last week. As far as the reaction to the Botox itself so far? I wasn’t sure if it were mind over matter, my feeling as if my hand is less tense especially when I’m relaxed and doing nothing these days. It was promising that Chrstine, my OT found that there is less tone in that hand during her evaluation. Same with the arm, it’s easier for me to stretch it out without using the other one to assist or propelling my body forward to compensate for the lack of arm reach. There’s still work to do, they both still curl and bend, but they are certainly not as rigid. We will work on continued strengthening over the next few months. My next Botox session is in February, and at that time, based on my feedback, progress shown etc, Gilbert can choose to alter the amount of Botox or the number of shots. Like everything else with this MS, it’s always a trial-and-error process until we find what works.

There you have it. My Botox story – not for my wrinkles but for my wretched disease!

Stax

P.S. Insurance paid 100% which actually quite surprised me but hey! I’ll take the wins when I can.

Physical Therapy 2021

I walked…without a (traditional) walking aid!!!

Okay. So before I continue, allyuh wouldn’t believe what I’m about to tell you. Last time, I talked about the new really weird pain that I was experiencing and said that I was going to talk to Gilbert about it later that day. One of the things that I didn’t mention was that I’d also started taking ibuprofen one night because the shit really was painful. So i talked about it here and I told Gilbert about it and what has happened? The last time I felt it was that morning! The last Ibuprofen i took was that morning! Was talking to a friend and she said that it was a “reverse” goatmout…very weird but yes, no more pain. That’s ms for you I suppose. Go figure! Anyways, Gilbert said that it sounded like nerve pain because of how I described it, but he still found it odd because it started in my armpit. He said that he could prescribe a daily pill and asked me if I wanted medication; I said no. He suggested that I (do what I do for all things ms related) monitor it and pay attention and we will deal with it at a later date if we need to. Well as of right now, we don’t need to because nothing’s happening…here’s hoping I’m not putting goatmout on myself writing this!

On to PT. Of course, physical therapy in 2020 was out but by 2021, there were protocols in place, including some home telehealth visits and I completed 10 sessions. I’ve talked about Shepherd and its “toys” before and last year, they had a new one. I wish I had a picture, but I don’t so I’m going to describe this as best as I possibly can. It is a walking aid that is attached at the ceiling to a circuit that covers the circumference of the PT area so patients can walk around the floor. My therapist “encased” me in multiple harnesses (I may have looked like a cyborg) that were attached to and communicated with the machine at the top that was attached to the circuit. She input my weight, height and other stats regarding my disability into the computer and so the entire thing adjusted as I was walking to keep me upright and somewhat stable. The first few steps were practice steps to ensure that the whole thing was calibrated properly- it is supposed to keep me from falling after all – so I was using a walker as I moved. I knew that this was coming but when Taylor my PT, said “okay, leave your walker here; time to walk without it” I freaked out! I was so damn scared…but of course, I put it aside and let it go. I could feel the whole thing adjusting to me as I found my balance and I took a step with my right foot (figured I’d start with that one since it’s the good one) and everything was fine – no drama, no stress. Okay left foot time and the weirdest thing happened…nothing. Nothing happened; it was almost as if I didn’t know how to move the foot without having the walker in my hand – this is the only way that I can describe how I felt. I actually had to say to myself, “okay…pick up the leg and move it forward, you can do this” and make a conscious decision to do it; it simply did not occur naturally. I freaked out a little…just a little…but Taylor talked me off the ledge and I did it; I took the step. The more steps I took, the better it was and the next thing I knew was that I’d completed half the circuit. I was soooooooo excited. I know that it probably sounds like nothing, especially since I was really strapped in and attached to all sorts of things, but you have to understand, I haven’t walked without a cane or a walker since 2010 (or 08…I honestly don’t remember but it was 1 of the 2); at some point, I wasn’t even sure what to do with my hands. LOL! It’s hard for me to really convey just how excited I was but it really, really felt good. Found the image below online that is not exact, but it depicts the general idea for you – maybe when I go back this year, I’ll get an actual picture, or even better, a video. I’m sure that I’ve said this here before, but I sure am glad that I found the MS Institute at the Shepherd Center.

Anyway, it’s finally Wednesday – we’re almost on our way down on the otherside to the weekend. Stay safe out there and I’ll be back soon.

Stax

Catalyst Sports

It’s been a while but I’ve had some long days at work and just haven’t had time to post.

The Catalyst Sports organisation is one of my best finds ever. I’ve talked about Catalyst before – this is the group with which I am able to rock climb. The group affords people with disabilities to enjoy/participate in different sports that we would not be able to under normal circumstances. I started rock climbing in 2018 and we would meet every Wednesday night for indoor climbing and I was even able to participate in one outdoor climb that was an amazing experience…but then, covid came along and everything shut down, including the gym. Rock climbing was out, at least for the hour. Mid 2021, the gym re-opened and eventually Wednesday night rock climbing resumed but at the time, I wasn’t comfortable yet. It was around that time that meh boy J started cycling and I remembered that the Atlanta chapter of Catalyst has a cycling program – I looked into it.

They offered hand pedaled and foot pedaled bikes and I was able to rent one on a monthly basis if I wanted. I thought about it and as much as I wanted to use the foot pedaled, I decided it might be best to go with the hand (a little back story – there was a time when I felt comfortable using a stationary bike in the gym and then I had 2 falls after using it (the last one resulted in a black eye) and that was then end of stationary bike use). Fast forward to 2021 and I decided that I’d rather be safe than sorry so I went with hand pedaled. The issue that I knew I could have is that the bikes are low so getting on and off by myself would be close to impossible BUT maybe I could ask my personal trainer to help me and we could incorporate bike riding into our weekly routine – I had a plan. Well, u know what they say about the best laid plans – sigh, altho I did get a chance to ride in Piedmont Park one Saturday. As it turns out, a few months later, Catalyst started monthly group bike rides and I was able to take advantage of those – for $10, I could rent a bike and ride with a volunteer or 2 on one of the bike trails in the area.

It was while on the last of those rides where I was really struggling with the hand cycle – u see my left arm is spastic too and (especially) when I need/want to use it, it tends to lock up so I don’t have the arm span that I have on the right side. That day I was REALLY struggling and it was getting me upset so I told Brad, the volunteer who was with me to forget it – I had taken soooo long to ride 1/4 mile, and he suggested that I try a foot pedaled bike. I was skeptical because at the end of the day, I would still have to function at home but I figured what the heck; I’ll give it a shot. Well it turned out that it was the best thing; I took 15 minutes to ride the same distance that took 45 on the hand cycle. I was ecstatic – hey, it’s the little things – and I refused to think about what the situation might be at home. When I eventually got there, I took it easy and happy to report, I had no drama; I’ve already signed up for next month’s ride and can’t wait to get back on to see how far I can go. On that same day, I found out that they were getting ready to launch the kayaking program and I can’t wait to try that out even tho I’ll probably have the same arm challenges, but we’ll see.

Anyhoo, I’m in Trinidad as I write and I have Mackeson to drink and good food to eat so I gone so but first…a few pictures.

Back at It II

As allyuh know, I found The Shepherd Center for therapy and I never looked back so for my fourth year straight, I went to shepherd this year for 10 sessions of OT and PT. One of the things I like about going to shepherd every year is that I don’t have to repeat my story every time. Rebecca, my OT and I have been working together for 3 of those 4 years, which is why she was able to say/see from jump this year, that my thumb had become an issue. I have actually had 4 PTs but all but one of them is still around in some capacity. The fact that it was a new PT each time hasn’t bothered me because my story/progress notes are in my file and if needed, all they need to do is talk to my old PTs. I actually finished my round of 10 sessions at the end of August, and as always, it was 20 hours well spent.

One of the things that ms takes from us is muscle strength. I’ve told u that my left hand is weak, so weak sometimes that just opening the hand takes everything in me to pull off and even then, it doesn’t open all they way. Now luckily, at least for me, only some muscle groups (that I’m aware of) are affected; the left hand, my hamstrings and my core- ugh! I tell people sometimes, that my core is nonexistent (I know that’s extreme cuz I wouldn’t be able to sit up (not do a sit up eh) stand etc). It’s most annoying and I hate it so, but I have to deal/live with it. Taylor, my PT this year, asked me if I had anything specific that I wanted to work on during our time together and I told her that I’d like to work on my core. She liked nothing better because she is a certified Pilates instructor as well, so we incorporated core work in just about every session.

One of the other reasons that I enjoy going to Shepherd is that I get to “play with/in all the “toys””. This year, I didn’t do that as much but one of the pieces of equipment that Taylor wanted me to use is the “AllCore”. She explained that I would sit in the machine as it rotated/moved and my goal was to remain as upright as I could as it went thru its motions. Unfortunately, the machine was at the main campus of Shepherd rather than the outpatient facility where the MS Institute is housed, so we had to schedule my use in advance and coordinate to meet at the main campus, so I only had the opportunity to use it once. It was unfortunate because with prolonged use, I could definitely envision the long term benefits.

Now doh get me wrong, I know that I can incorporate sit-ups, crunches and whatever other core exercises into my routines when I go gym (and sometimes we do) but those things are no fun. I prefer exercises that don’t feel like exercises – years ago when I was dancing, it was a workout and a half but it never felt like I was working out/exercising because I enjoyed doing it so much; that’s what I’m talking about. Anyhoo, as difficult as it was, I liked my time in the AllCore, doh mind I had to concentrate on so many different things to do it properly(ish) – shoulders down, back straight, lean forward…all the while “engaging my core” to keep form. I think it was the hardest thing I’d done that week! Enjoy a short clip…

Therapy at the Shepherd Center

I’ve done a few sessions of both Occupational and Physical Therapies thus far and both are going well. Time spent at the Shepherd Center is always time well spent.

Rebecca, my occupational therapist, works with me to improve and/or maintain the skills I need to function regularly everyday and as such, the care of the left arm and hand fall into the OT range. I don’t know that I really ever explained what has happened to my left arm…just like my left leg, it is spastic. The muscles used to open my left hand are tight and tense, hence the reason it always curls up and constantly looks like I’m forming a fist (the good news here is that it doesn’t lock up like that; it’s very pliant and I can manipulate it if I want). The same stands true for the muscles along the outer arm so the arm is hardly ever really straight and if I’m not focusing on it at all (or not holding the walker), it is almost always completely bent. Besides the normal exercises of moving something from one place to the next, which is so extremely frustrating when u have a “pok hand”, I have used the Functional Electrical Stimulation Bicycle. The bike works similarly to my bionic foot by stimulating the nerves in my hand and arm to encourage them to function normally. Rebecca placed electrodes on my wrists, forearms, biceps, triceps and the back of my shoulder blades, strapped my hand in place and as the bike started moving so did I to power it thru (pedalling with the left arm). I’m sure that I would not have lasted as long as I did without the stimulation and my movements would not have been as fluid. Shepherd Center offers membership in an MS Wellness program where one can go use the facility and all the equipment on a regular basis and I sure wish I can join to take advantage of everything they have to offer consistently but alas, it’s only available and staffed M-F 8-5, so while I may be able to make it work, it’ll take a Herculean effort of coordination etc to do so.

see my arm strapped in there

it’s in motion here

here’s a short clip of it in action:

IMG_4262

the other piece of equipment that I used (and already told u about) is the Bertec Balance Plate. I stand in front of an open dome if u will on a platform that has sensors to pick up how I’m standing to measure how balanced I am. Additionally, the inside of the dome is a screen on which moving lines, moving circles etc can be displayed. Is my weight distributed evenly between both legs? When the platform moves, how do I react to get back in balance? When the display changes, do I lose my balance and how quickly do I regain it? You get the picture…some of the exercises were easy enough to do and then there was this one below…lol. In the grand scheme of things, I didn’t do so terribly badly but  multitasking is when I tend to lose “form” and my reaction to things getting out of whack needs some work (it cemented one thing that I tell people all the time – I shouldn’t laugh and walk at the same time).

I wish I had some other pictures of the entire machine but say what.

The goal of that exercise was to keep that yellow star in the middle of the grocery aisle as I moved thru. Started off easy enough and then boxes started appeared in the aisle that I had to avoid hitting and wouldn’t u know it some of the boxes were moving side to side. When Joy, the PT asked me what dairy products I saw on the shelves, I said “wait? Wha???” Multitasking! Now I had to maintain my balance, lookout for and avoid hitting the boxes AND keep an eye out for dairy products? I told her that I think I’d seen a fish fly by! At some point the platform may have started moving too. I worked my ass off yesterday morning, no doubt.  In fact, it was funny because by the time I reached back home and throughout the day yesterday, I noticed that I really wasn’t keeping my balance very well but that was no surprise really, cuz those muscles put in some good work that morning.

Alright.  Well I gone so.  thanks for passing thru…as u were!

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