Category: Random Thoughts

Happy Times!

Had dinner with my fellow MSers last nite.  we had a really great time and it was good catching up with them – i haven’t seen then since the end of the seminar.  We exchanged war stories of the past few months, laughed, they commented on my walking and just had an overall good time.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, my friends and family are the best at supporting me and making adjustments etc, based on my needs but there is nothing like talking to and swapping stories with other MS “sufferers”.

Anyhoo…tomorrow is my 1st Tysabri infusion; I have to admit that I am extremely excited.  I am hopeful and staying very positive about what this treatment can do for me. 

  • The risk of the brain infection is in the back of my mind, but way way back; I’m not going to lose sleep over it.

I’m already enjoying NOT sticking myself everyday…in fact i was supposed to be off of it for 2 weeks prior to the infusion, but i stopped it about 3/4 weeks ago :-).  I go in at 1:00 tomorrow afternoon and will be there for 3 hrs (pre-infusion work/infusion/monitoring) – honestly, i can think of a few better things to do for 3 hrs on a Friday afternoon – but hey!  I chose a Friday afternoon so that I have the weekend to recuperate if necessary.

Wish me luck (from across the miles, oceans, continents etc)!!!

Buss Meh Ass…Again!

So…falling down is a regular occurence with some sufferers of MS.  I’ve mentioned in a much earlier post that I used to fall down all the time growing up (maybe that was a clue?). To this day, my father will tell anyone who will listen the extremely story of my falling on Frederick St! At any rate, falling is jes one of those things that i have to deal with – between my dragging feet and lack of strength sometimes – anything is possible.
So i fell “up” the steps on Monday.  I think I’ve mentioned before i have 32 steps at home to contend with (3 story townhouse) – one of my mother’s dreams is to win the lottery and buy a flat house for me. At any rate, I was walking up the 1st flight of steps (entrance to the living room area) after a long drive (I could actually feel myself getting tired as I drove) and at the very last step, I didn’t lift my foot high enuf to step up and u know it – buss meh ass right there.  I was carrying 2 bags at the time, so naturally they went flying – luckily i feel forward not back! 

Now what is it about when I fall that I immediately start to laugh hysterically (even if i’m alone)!!!  Maybe that’s my way of dealing with any embarrassment, maybe it’s because I am able to laugh at myself – who knows – but i fell and immediately started laughing HARD!  I have a friend staying with me these days, he must think that I am a mad woman because every single time (of course I’ve fallen at home before) i fall, i laugh like crazy.  This time i was laughing so hard that he actually helped me up because it was obvious that i couldn’t help myself too much at the time.  UGH – f*ckin Multiple Sclerosis!!!

My 1st Drink…

So i had a drink (since the end of April; bout 6 months ago!) last week Friday; was a beer – only 1 and it was COLD in d ice (ice COLD)!  went down good; nothing like an ice cold beer!  We were limin at the house – no need to risk anything happening outside – and i figured that it was as good a time as any to have 1.  Kaliber is okay and all but i mean c’mon…Happy to report that there weren’t any adverse reactions and i wasn’t wasted after 1 beer! 
🙂

I Have MS, It Doesn’t Have ME!!

So I mentioned in my last post that the friend came up to me in the cooler fete and told me that he admired me for not allowing the MS to keep me from having a good time.  I’m limin hard, fetin up a storm (partying), driving (again some say like a bat out of hell, i beg to differ) and livin like i don’t have a degenerative, incurable, neurological disease!  my response to that is that I HAVE TO!!!  I’m taking all the bloody pills and shots (WOOHOO, last nite i threw out all the shots i had left; I can barely remember the last time i injected myself; can’t wait for the new treatment to start), exercizing and managing the disease as best as I possibly can but I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to stop doing shit that makes me happy. 

I’ve mentioned before that driving is the only time that i feel like I’m on level playing field with everyone else…there’s no stiffness, foot dragging, needing to sit, blah blah blah; I feel totally normal.  I’m not going to stop driving jes because something MIGHT happen at some point.  Is that stupid?  some may think so but F*CK IT; I’m not giving it up. 

Sometimes, if someone asks me in shock/horror if I’m doing something/going somewhere alone, I feel a little resentful (i know it’s genuine concern and I really do appreciate it), but somewhere deep inside, i want to say that i’m not trying to be a burden to anyone and there are some things that I CAN/WILL do on my own. 

  • Am i going to go to a fete by myself? NO!
  • Will I go shopping alone? Absolutely – I’m not much of a shopper, but I can spend hours in my favorite store, but as soon as shit starts feeling weird and going wrong, I am out of there!
 I’ve said it before, my hero days are over; i know my limitations…I’m not going to willingly put myself in a situation that I know i won’t be able to handle.
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