Category: Random Thoughts

True Story

Saturday i had to take my car in to Honda.  I got there and the Honda man opened my door.  I told him my usual, “I’ll take a moment” because in addition to just taking my time to get out the car, I was juggling a book, a cup of coffee, the cane, my phone and my handbag.

He said, “no problem…take ur time.  Would u like me to hold something for u?”…i said, “oh yes, thank u”…

 and handed him the cane!!

Not Sold

So…I’m still not sold on this cane.  I’m giving it a chance, but…

yesterday I had to pick up my car from the repair shop – how the fcuk do u see a parked car that is sitting in a practically empty parking lot and then reverse into it?????  that is just beyond my realm of imagination…but as usual i digress – so i went to get the car, took the cane and what did i do?  held it in my hand instead of actually using it!  HELLO!  I’m a loser, yes i know.

  • I get that it will help with my balance – i think.  What if i have it in my right hand and i start to sway to my left?  what then?
  • I’m not sure that it will help me when i’m stiff – can it really help me then?
  • what about when my knees decide to lock up – to me that is just more drama

I’m still being positive…I am not going to write it off.  I just have to get into the habit of picking it up and actually using it i s’pose and we’ll see what happens.

It’s a nice sleek one…it’s not fancy; didnt want to spend too much money on it until i know it’ll actually be worth it, but it’s cool enuf that i won’t mind walking around with it. 

Routines

Part of managing my MS is all about routines – and I suspect that goes for all chronic diseases.  Altering old ones, creating new ones and even *gasp* deleting some old ones…

  • Eating breakfast – won’t bore u with details but I’ve had to change my morning routine before heading downstairs to work
  • Getting ready to go somewhere – again, no details necessary, but i’ve had to alter my “getting ready” routine
  • Setting alarms to take meds – everyone always knows when it’s 5pm and 9pm on a weekend now
  • Waking up at 1 am to take a pill – every morning, the alarm goes off; it’s gotten to a point that sometimes if I’m asleep before that, i actually wake up without the alarm.  Luckily they’re small enuf that i don’t take them with water – 1 time i swore that i’d taken them; i felt them go down and the next morning i woke up and they were in the container smiling up at me
  • Partying on the sidelines – i doh fete like i used to (jes a whole lotta limin) but when i do,  i usually shy away from the wine and enjoy the music more than anything (love to hear music LOUD) and live vicariously thru everyone else
  • Walking around with a chair – never know where we might end up and there is no seating for me 
  • For the first 5 years, i had to figure out the best time to take my daily shot so that i wouldn’t forget altho up till the time i stopped, i still kept forgetting…good thing i have to go in for the infusion
it’s really about knowing my limitations/what I can and cannot do, altering some things to not put myself at risk…and if I try to do something that I know I shouldn’t, being prepared to deal with any consequences.

Taking the Plunge

allright…i give up!  I’m not going to fight it anymore…I’m throwing in the towel, biting the bullet – all of those phrases…

i’m 99.9999% sure that I’ll get the cane. I think i need to practise for sure because even tho i’m that close to getting it, i’m not that close to being convinced that i’ll be able to maneuver IT and ME all at once.

Using 1 will be better than falling more regularly than i do now and hurting myself.

D, I’ll work on the pimp cup (just for u) – can’t make any promises re: the cadillac :-)…i know u wish u were here to see for urself!

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