Category: Random Thoughts

Riding with Lyft cont’d

I wrote this yesterday but was only able to publish this morning…

Ohmyword. I’m writing this from a Lyft car right now. I published my last post at 1:00 this afternoon. I just finish talking about the fact that men don’t complain and now 5 hours later, I had the interaction below with ken, the driver:

He pulled up and I saw the look. I ignored it and said, “is it ok if I sit behind you?” He nodded said yes and, “what about that (pointing to bumblebee)? where u gonna put that?” I said “it’ll fold up and fit in ur trunk.” He said okay and pulled into a spot. As I went thru the motions of folding up bumblebee he oooohed and aaaahed at how he folded up but I knew that we would “have issues” when Ken started his steps to lock it in place and I could hear his grunts of frustration.
When Bumblebee was folded and locked, I said my usual “it’s a lil heavier than it looks ok?” But by then ken had already tried to pick him up and exclaimed, “this thing is heavy!” He tried again, “how u know I can pick this up?” I said “I don’t so I will get help if I need to”. He hoisted bumblebee a third time “this thing is heavy. Do u always do this? Suppose a woman comes for u?” Again I said ever so calmly, “yes I do this all the time. Like I said if u don’t want to deal with it I’ll get help.” (I didn’t say u can leave and I’ll get someone else…I was already running a little later than I’d planned) he said, “I don’t mind and I don’t want to damage it” and lifted it into the trunk.

Now this is what I meant when I said in my last post that people try to make nice after the fact. We drove in silence (which is no big deal and it gave me a chance to write) and when we got to my destination, he came out the car, took off his shirt (he had on a vest underneath) and said, “I have to get ready for this.” I heard him grunting by the trunk and he brought the scooter to me and said, “I never had to deal with one of these before. What’s it called?” I told him that it is a mobility scooter and I use it to get around. He said,”okay. Well I’m glad that I got you because now I know how to handle it. I never had to before. So is that it?” I told him that I had one more thing to do before I took off but that I’d do it. He said, “no. Tell me. I want to learn”I told him what to do, asked him if he’d close the door for me, told him thank you and scooted off.

Times like this I also wonder if I should rate the driver a “3”. I remember the first time I did that I got a message that Lyft will not pair you with a driver who’s rated a 3 or less. He tried to make up for all the initial comments at the end, but if I rate him a 3, it will guarantee that he and I will never have to deal with each other again!

Riding with Lyft

So if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that I had to give up on my Stax4 dream because I stopped driving a few years ago. I believe that the last time I drove a car was may 2016. I miss driving to this day…especially fast and aggressively …but I digress…anyhoo, so I was thinking about buying an accessible vehicle when T-ster suggested that I use Lyft to get around instead of putting myself in the expense of a new car (that I rhelly didn’t want cuz I like small cars). Well allyuh, I never looked back. I eh go lie, I was nervous at first requesting a Lyft ride, but eventually I got over it and it was smooth sailing…it’s now been 3 years later and…well, a weird thing has started happening.

Now, I really haven’t had any bad experiences. I would say that 99% of the time, I walk the driver thru breaking down OP or folding up the ‘bee and we’re off…but these days, I eh go lie, I breathe a sigh of relief every time I request a car and I see that a male driver has been assigned. No one outwardly complains (sorta) but I see the doubt/trepidation/skepticism flutter across their faces when they pull up and see me…and the worst offenders are young black women. I’m not a judgemental person generally but on the lyft app? I am – the other day I cancelled rides three times (I had time to kill that day) just hoping to be assigned a male driver and also because I was thinking about my potential experience and basing it on how the driver looked. Understand – guys never complain and they always get out of their cars to help, without my asking or saying anything. Women? Not so much…they huff, puff, make lil comments (nothing rude or that make me feel uncomfortable) and then they try to make nice after the fact. Now don’t get me wrong, if someone doesn’t want to deal with the scooter or put it in their car or whatever, I have no problem cancelling the ride and sending them on their way but instead of just stating as such, women will ben an screw before or while we are going thru the motions to get the scooter in the trunk – once, I actually helped one put OP in her trunk; don’t ask me how I did it but I did – she was muttering and grumbling a little and I just helped so that we could move along. I don’t let whatever they say or how they act rub me the wrong way because I just don’t have time to make that a “thing” and please keep in mind that it doesn’t happen all the time or even the majority of the time. 

So of late, I’ve been wondering if I am being presumptuous by using the regular Lyft car. I say “regular” because they supposedly offer accessible vehicle rides too but I don’t use those cuz they have to be scheduled in advance (I leave here on a whim sometimes) and ultimately, either of my scooters will fit in any car trunk so I don’t NEED an accessible vehicle. But, by using the regular car, I’m making the assumption that the driver will be okay dealing with the scooter…is that wrong of me? Am I being too bol’face? Why should I assume that a stranger would just do whatever needs to be done? I actually talked to a driver about it – although I don’t know that the driver was the best one. HE had no problem with it and HE told me that HE viewed it as HE was making a difference in someone’s life and was helping someone who needed help and he was just doing what he’d hope that someone else might do for his daughter, his niece, his mother etc if they needed help.

hmmmm

Anyway, those thoughts have been swirling around in my head lately, although they haven’t stopped me from using Lyft when I need to…I am just a little wary sometimes.

Back at It

I’ve been missing. I don’t remember exactly what happened…and then…well, life…I hope not to stop again. I know that I’m playing with ur emotions – please forgive me! There’s good news though, this time is different to times in the past when I stopped writing. This time there’s no link to how the ms was behaving nor can I link my not writing to ms in any way.

So in the past 10 months I’m happy to say that things haven’t changed too much or very drastically. As far as my physical disability – with respect to my walking and that left leg of mine? Stability…no improvement but no degeneration either…I continue to use CBD Oil and I have good days and not so good days when for whatever reason, the leg fights me and people who try to bend it or my walking seems very laborious. So my lower extremities are okay. What has worsened, is my hand. Used to be that my fingers would curl up so that the left hand looked like it was always in a fist (of sorts). Well now, my thumb regularly bends in, but not over the fingers, under them. So picture, if u will, u put up your 4 fingers (with the thumb across ur palm) and then u bring them down. That’s what my hand looks like regularly and the fingers and thumb are all weak so opening the hand to do anything I need/want to do gets challenging but I make whatever I need to do happen. It was the one thing that Rebecca, my Occupational Therapist, noticed from jump when I started therapy 10 weeks ago…but that’s a story for another day.

I know that I mentioned before that I’d planned to look into moving over to the Shepherd Center as a regular ms patient. I’ve been attending outpatient rehabilitation therapy for 4years and it’s closer to home so it made complete sense to me. The day that I talked to my neurologist about using CBD Oil and he told me that the MSCA had made a decision that, as an institution they are not going to support or promote patients’ using it was the proverbial nail in the coffin and I talked to my therapists and got the paperwork to make it happen. Filling it all out was easypeasy and I submitted it…couldn’t wait to get started over there and then I got the call. “Hi Stacey. Thank you for your interest in becoming a patient but unfortunately it’s not going to happen.” Turns out that Shepherd doctors do not put their patients on Lemtrada so they cannot support it in any way so since my last ms medication was Lemtrada, I was disqualified. Steups!!! Maybe in 2021, I can try again…I say that because that’s when the Lemtrada monitoring is supposed to stop…who knows🤷‍♂️.

Anyway, that’s it for now…I’ll be back…same time next week!

A Lil Story

So a couple weekends ago a few of us went to brunch. We started at one restaurant ended up staying quite some time so food and drinks was flowing. As we were leaving, ASal suggested that we should walk the 2/3 blocks to another bar/lounge that had a great vibe (did I mention that this was a Sunday?). Not people to turn down any kinda lime, we all said OK! We got there and were seated but no one came to our table. Finally, after many complaints, a guy walked over apologising profusely and took our order. They were offering some kind of Sunday brunch drink special and so naturally we took advantage of that and got a couple appetizers. Well when the order came, we noticed that there were more drinks on the table than we ordered and found out that the waiter doubled up on everything because we’d been waiting so long. Well looky here, that Sunday just got so much better.

anyway we sat there liming for a couple hours and of course at some point, I had to go use the restroom. I was using Bumblebee and let me just say that he doesn’t have a real tight lock when we are turning corners. On Optimus Pride I can buss down a u turn in the tightest spot, on bumblebee? Not so much…it’ll take at least a 4 point turn. Anyway I left the restroom and my left leg was giving a little trouble to bend and go up on the scooter so I just left it hanging off cuz I didn’t have far to go. I got to a point where I had to bend a corner to get back to our table and as I turned, it was a little wider than it should have been and that left leg that was hanging off the scooter ran right into a life size Jenga game that I guess patrons of the place could play as they wished. Jenga pieces flew everywhere and, oh the crash as they came tumbling down. Allyuh know that I started laughing hilariously and just couldn’t stop even though I was horrified. The only thing that would have made the moment better was if I’d remembered to shout “JENGA!” as the tiles fell to the ground.

Luckily it was late by then and the place had really emptied vs. when we initially got there…smh…dull moments are few and far between.

not the best quality pictures but u get the point… 🙂

 

 

 

It’s All About YOU!!

I write this blog to share my stories, my experiences, all my trials and tribulations with you. I’ve shared that I actually had to be convinced to do it because I didn’t think that anyone would be interested in MY story.  As time went on, I realised that telling the story not only teaches everyone 1 or 2 things about my wretched disease but sometimes it also helps to put things in perspective. For example, I’ve been told things like “gyurl. I read that post today and I have to say…self.  Get over this (inset whatever stress). Stax always saying she only have one and a quarter hands and she still laughing and smiling.” Comments like that always make me smile and help me to push thru and keep fighting.

i don’t know if you all know just how much your support really helps me. I’m talking about you who read the blog, you my Facebook friends, you my family, you my inner circle.  Those of you right here in Atlanta and those far and wide. A few years ago I was having a rough day (don’t remember if it was ms related or just some bullshit at work) but it was around the time of the annual Men Who Think They Could Cook fundraiser in Atlanta (it’s an annual fundraiser put on by KPM that benefits the MSCA on my behalf) and just reading everyone’s comments (about me, about the event) and all the ole talk back and forth amongst the competitors completely changed my mood and lifted my spirits. I say all the time that it just isn’t always easy being me but all your support really makes a difference.

I am extremely grateful for all the physical support (the lift ups, grocery and farmers market runs and cooking to name a few), the emotional and mental support (laughing with and at me and being a sounding board if/when I need it) and then there are things like this:

Shar created this without my knowledge to be displayed at this year’s Men Who Think They Could Cook. This was such a simple piece that was so well thought out and put together. The first time I saw and read it, my pores raised.

Little things like this make it easier and helps me find the strength to steups at the ms and not allow it to get me down most days. So thank you! Thank you…to all of u for everything that u do (even when u don’t realise)!

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