Category: Random Thoughts

so…

hated my house last nite.  steups!!!  i worked out yesterday and all i did was a whole setta ab work – wasn’t even on my feet for any of the time and when i tried to go upstairs, i could barely make it.  swear i took 10 mins to climb the first flight of 16 – was awful. ugh!  at one point about 3/4 way up, i almost convinced myself that i could just sleep there for the night.

It’s only 16 steps per flight, but it certainly seemed like this last nite!

As much as some people thank me for being honest and open here (and i am), i don’t always share everything that i might be feeling/experiencing.  Anyhoo, i’m ready to share this story below here now.

so for the past few months, i’ve noticed that my left hand appears to be spastic as well. it used to be that i would notice it only when my legs were fatigued – really weird, that my legs were fatigued, so my hand would act up!  At any rate, what i used to notice is that it would tend to curl up (if u will) on its own and i noticed it only when i was walking if my arm was just hanging by my side.  These days, especially at the end of a working day of lots of typing, i tend to lose almost all functionality.  it curls up and i can barely find the strength to open it, far less use it to do anything.  It’s depressing at times, but as usual, it is what it is – what can i do?  I’m dealing.

Life Without MS

Last weeek, i found myself wondering about how my life would have been like if i didn’t have MS.  of course, the truth is i have no clue.  would my life have been better?  worse?  who knows?  there are 2 things that i can say without a doubt: 

  1. I’d be dancing/winin up a storm at all the fetes i’ve been to and will be going to in the upcoming months – Carnival season is in full swing at home with the culmination on 2/20 and 2/21, so there’ve been a few fetes here and Atlanta carnival will be in may so fetes for that will start when everyone comes back from Trinidad.
  2. I would definitely have more money in my bank account – without doctor visit copays and coinsurance payments and deductibles etc, i would be that much richer

Do i wish for a body without MS?  hell yeah!  who wouldn’t????  I’ve heard stories of people who are glad that they have MS…am i one of those?  absolutely NOT – i’m sorry, but i don’t understand that train of thought.  but, do i hate my life because I have MS?  of course not.  I’m had to make many adjustments and there are times when i look at everyone jumpin up and carryin on because of some of the sweet soca released this year and WISH i could be out there with them, but hey, i really have nothing to complain about. 
The other day at a Superbowl lime, someone whom I’ve seen at numerous fetes (don’t know who she is or her name) stopped me as i was walking past and told me that she really admires/loves my attitude (I guess u can’t really  miss me anywhere, i’m the only 1 with a cane)!

so, life is good!  life is sweet (even with MS)!!

Speaking of…

The decal expires at the end of this year, 12/12/2012 to be exact.  I remember when my PCP prescribed it for me – for some reason i didn’t ask my neurologist – maybe i was still going to the asshole who insisted on calling me Mrs. O’Brien?  i’m not sure.. anyhoo, my PCP is very sweet – he actually kinda spoils me.  I remember years ago, i’d fractured my ankle and went to him.  the conversation went like this:

Me: isn’t it bad enough that i should take some time off from work?
Doc: You want some time off?
Me: Of course
Doc: How much time you want?
Me: I think 6 weeks should do it
i walked out with a short term disablility slip for 6 weeks off – i LOVE him
Anyhoo, so when he was prescribing the decal, he said, “do you think we should put an expiration date?  i think so, lets be hopeful and optimistic…let’s do 2012” (which at the time of course was soooooooooo far away). 
sadly, the time is almost upon us and i still need the thing (can’t imagine life without it).  I guess at the end of the year i will go back to him and either get an extension (i can still be hopeful) or might as well get a non expiring one 🙁

I Can’t do Without…

MY HANDICAPPED DECAL!!!

i got in my first accident that was my fault some Sundays ago.  In my 24 years of driving, it was the first time that i could blame noone but myself.  The right headlight was completely smashed and there were some scratches on the bumper, so i took the car in on Saturday to be fixed.  As a result, i have a rental right now.  Now, whenever i switch cars like that (get a rental, drive in someone else’s car), one of the things that i  always try to remember (ESPECIALLY with the rental) is the handicapped decal!

so on Saturday, G and I cleaned out the car, handicapped decal and all and transferred to the rental.  I drive a Civic Coupe – the smaller the car (within reason), the better for me; we drove off the lot in an Impala – ugh – it just wasn’t as comfortable for either of us (she drives my car way more than i do).  Anyway, so we hung the decal on the rearview mirror, but every time we put it up, it fell back down – it just wasn’t hooking on as it should have, so we just left it on theground of the car; no need to fight it. 

Well we had to park at some time and i pulled into the handicap spot.  I stayed in the car while G got out to get some stuff.  While i was sitting there waiting, it occured to me that i should put the thing up even tho i  was sitting in the car.  Somehow i managed to hook the decal on properly so that it appeared to be a little more stable than it had been earlier, but the windows were down, so that was not helping the cause.  I turned up the passenger side window, but left mine down.  Everything was good until G got back to the car and opened the door…don’t u know that decal went flying out the car!!!  Good thing it was with G because she had to go running behind it to get it.  Can you imagine if it had been me??  somebody else would be reaping my benefits because eh no way, i would have been able to catch it.

I can’t imagine being without it – i really can’t; it just makes so many things so much more convenient for me.  It’s kinda like my cane, i can’t imagine how i managed without it.

I Can't do Without…

MY HANDICAPPED DECAL!!!

i got in my first accident that was my fault some Sundays ago.  In my 24 years of driving, it was the first time that i could blame noone but myself.  The right headlight was completely smashed and there were some scratches on the bumper, so i took the car in on Saturday to be fixed.  As a result, i have a rental right now.  Now, whenever i switch cars like that (get a rental, drive in someone else’s car), one of the things that i  always try to remember (ESPECIALLY with the rental) is the handicapped decal!

so on Saturday, G and I cleaned out the car, handicapped decal and all and transferred to the rental.  I drive a Civic Coupe – the smaller the car (within reason), the better for me; we drove off the lot in an Impala – ugh – it just wasn’t as comfortable for either of us (she drives my car way more than i do).  Anyway, so we hung the decal on the rearview mirror, but every time we put it up, it fell back down – it just wasn’t hooking on as it should have, so we just left it on theground of the car; no need to fight it. 

Well we had to park at some time and i pulled into the handicap spot.  I stayed in the car while G got out to get some stuff.  While i was sitting there waiting, it occured to me that i should put the thing up even tho i  was sitting in the car.  Somehow i managed to hook the decal on properly so that it appeared to be a little more stable than it had been earlier, but the windows were down, so that was not helping the cause.  I turned up the passenger side window, but left mine down.  Everything was good until G got back to the car and opened the door…don’t u know that decal went flying out the car!!!  Good thing it was with G because she had to go running behind it to get it.  Can you imagine if it had been me??  somebody else would be reaping my benefits because eh no way, i would have been able to catch it.

I can’t imagine being without it – i really can’t; it just makes so many things so much more convenient for me.  It’s kinda like my cane, i can’t imagine how i managed without it.

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