Category: Random Thoughts

had a lil bout of depression last nite.  I normally work out at a gym (i’ve actually changed from Reggie and the old gym), but last nite long story short, i had to stay at home and workout.  Now, working out in the gym and working out at home of course are 2 completely different things and i definitely prefer going to the gym.  Anyhoo, so by the end of the hour, i was completely frustrated because “easy”, “simple” things i just couldn’t do or was completely struggling to do.  you know how hard it is to bend your legs when all they want to do is remain straight????  ugh!! 

so my trainer left and i went to lock the door behind him and went down (yup, numero cinco).  I moved my left foot to take a step and it kinda caught on the tile so i ended up taking a half step instead, only my body and i thought i was taking a full step so i ate tile.  i remember grabbing at the door (a flat surface) so of course it did no good!  all was well, i think i hit my head a little, but ended up on a case of water – so i guess that “cushioned” my fall.

so…it appears that i had a really really good time for my birthday this year.  Not only did i lose my cane holder and had to buy yet another 3 pack, but apparently i also lost my “Saturday” pill box!  these days i’m using Thursday’s box on Saturdays and really trying to keep up.  signs of a great time!  I’ve mentioned this here before, but i think it’s worth mentioning again.  It’s amazing to me how much better i am on the weekends than during the week – I really don’t get it.  I honestly think that my body doesn’t appreciate being jarred awake before it’s ready to…that must be it – go figure. 

I always laugh at some of the situations i find myself in because they are just so flippin crazy. 

a few Saturdays ago i had to wake up at the crack of dawn to go get a hair cut.  I’ve decided that i’m going to make the sacrifice and wake up early to go the barber shop so that i don’t have to wait for hours for a hair cut and waste my entire saturday there.  so i woke up early (8am) and got dressed, went downstairs to eat breakfast, but time’s a wasting, so i decided i’ll drink my coffee on the drive down.  I headed downstairs with the cane, my phone and a cup of coffee.  Did i mention that i was a little unsteady?  i was…we have an  alarm in the house, so everybody with an alarm system knows that when you set it and leave the house, u only have so much time to get out before the system arms.  I never have problems with that; i always can get out, no probs…except for that day.  i was moving so unsteadily and slowly that morning, plus i had a cup of coffee in my hand that i REFUSED to let spill, that each time i tried to get out after i’d set the alarm, i had to reenter the code to stop the cycle and try again.  oh boy, would i EVER get out of here…on the 4th try, i made it!  whew!!!  time’s a wasting – trying to get there before the whole of Atlanta!!!!

Yesterday, i went to a store, parked the car and got out.  Now, i can’t describe just how i parked but suffice it to say that it was a little precarious”ly” parked – just a little.   Anyhoo, so i go in, did what i had to do, came out, opened the door to leave and couldn’t get my feet in the car!  try as i might, i just didn’t have the strength to lift my right foot all the way into the car.  what the?!?!? really????  i tried a few times well and all i could do was think about what i looked like to someone who happened to be looking out a window or something at the same time.  LOL!!!  I eventually planted my ass on the seat, relaxed a little and then finally was able to swing my legs over to the right and into the car so that i could make my way home – of course, was i totally surprised?  ah cyah lie, no – i’d already done a few things for the day and the car was in an odd position.

Never a dull moment…it’s just funny the situations i find myself in – i really can’t make this shit up!

MS really is a nasty disease.  I had my 24th infusion and 3month follow up with my neuro yesterday and for some reason, there were more people than normal in the office at the time i was there and it hit me that there were so many varying disabilities – not varying degrees of the same disability, but varying disabilities. 

• there was an old man in a wheel chair who appeared to be suffering from the swallowing problem that afflicts some.  I say “appear” because he had a towel and kept wiping his mouth, i wasn’t close enough to him to see exactly what was happening – so many people have problems swallowing or can’t swallow at all.
• there were a few folk with canes who ran the gamut.  there was me who was kinda struggling yesterday and then there was a woman who didn’t even seem as if she needed one.
• the woman in the scooter who appeared to be completely weak on 1 side of her body
• there were people with varying types of walkers – with built in seats, without built in seats
• of course let’s not forget those who have no visible disabilities

i guess there was that constant of the walking disability, but still just so many varieties of said walking disability.  My neuro and i had the whole “should i switch or should i stay” conversation again because i am at the 2 year mark.  My risk of PML increases just a tad because not only am i JCV positive but i will be on Tysabri for more than 2 years – OH GOODY!!!  We are still in agreement tho that i will stay on Tysabri (that devil you know) what with the increased MRI monitoring and such. 

Speaking of which, no new lesions and no signs of PML from the MRI that was done in February.  so there is some good news!

well…

i talked about it and it happened; I took a tumble on Saturday.  Everyone gets excited when they get a package right?  well i get excited!  LOL – indulge me for a few. 

• In college, my roomate and i used to send each other mail so that we would actually have something in our mailboxes when we check!  LOSERS!!!  As i “grew up” i wished i wouldn’t get all the bills and junk mail.  In fact if we check the mail once a week these days it’s plenty.  BUT!!  I still always anxiously await all my packages – cept my medication but hey. 

Anyhoo, so my packages normally come to the front door, but this time when i checked the tracking email, it stated that my tshirt was delivered but it wasn’t at the door; this meant that it must have been in my mailbox.  I had some running around to do on Saturday so when i came back to the house, i decided to go get my jersey.  I parked, left the car running, got out and left my door open, made my way over to the mailbox, took out my package, walked back to the car and, as usual God only knows what happend, I fell into the opened car door! 

Thankfully noone was around, so my struggle to get out from tangled in between the car door and the car and to right myself was witnessed by NOBODY!  Of course it was on “Hard Hard Concrete” so once again the top of my foot is bruised up because there was some dragging involved to get into a position so that i could get up.  Of course i laughed at myself because of the ridiculous situation BUT i was happy because i’d gotten my package 🙂