Category: Random Thoughts

Bad Day

Last week Friday wasn’t a good day for me. I was in a funk for most of the day – “feeling sorry for myself”.  I think it’s okay for me to have those days (i’m only human) – luckily they’re few and far between so I guess that makes it better – I s’pose. Was supposed to go out that night…sure didn’t.  I wish that I can do things on a whim without thinking bout whether or not the place/situation is “Stacey friendly”. If needed, I always do my “due diligence” to find out but it gets old sometimes and those times I just say, “FiretrUCK it, I cyah bother go/do”.

Weird Freaky Sh**

2 Friday mornings ago,  I woke up (at whatever ungodly hour) to pee and realized (I can always tell when I getting out the bed if it’ll end in drama) that “uh oh. This may not end well”…and it didn’t. I slid off the bed instead of getting up and off.  Sometimes when that happens, I can’t get up right away (it takes a number of tries and deep breaths) but luckily this time I made it in one try, and finally got to the porcelain goddess but all along I just wasn’t feeling right.

anyhoo…I organised my business and walked back to the bed and…oh shizznit, I couldn’t get back in – won’t bore u with the details, but I eventually got back in and went back to sleep.  Woke up to “go” to work and SAME FRIGGIN THING happened. At this, point, I start to worry because nothing is working how it should, including my hand that jes refused to open – I couldn’t even finish washing my face because I couldn’t cup the water in the hand. Geez, what fresh hell was this now???  

Well, I finally finished getting dressed, started working and things kinda started getting normal. My PT came over (I had an opportunity to get in home physical therapy so I took it), we went thru his lil routine and I was definitely back to normal by the time he left…hmmm…I started thinking…I remembered my dream.

Truth be told, I don’t remember when, in the sequence of things, I had it but I dreamt that there was a strange man in the apartment and when I realized, I tried to turn over (I was actually lying in bed at the time) to grab a nearby stun gun and couldn’t because I was panicking (whenever I start to panic my body shuts down and try as I might, I can’t get things to work).  I kept trying to turn over  and…nothing. Eventually, I heard a voice I knew.  Now, I don’t know if the man was someone I knew after all or what (u know how dreams are), but that’s when I woke up. At that point I remember saying to myself,”whew was just a dream”. I don’t know if I actually moved when i woke up, but I know that I was alert and knew that everything was alright because it was just a dream.  


I really think that that is what had me so “in a mess” when I woke up.  Does it make sense? Nope, not to me but it’s the only explanation I have. Now, I hadda be careful what I dream too? Steups!!! Come nah man MS, u cyah b serious!

But seriously, is that freaky or what?!?

So Guess What Happened

It’s been awhile. In fact, the last time I remember bussin my azz was in December when one of the boots I was wearing held on to the carpet (yet another reason for me to HATE winter) altho for some reason I feel like there was another between then and now. Anyhoo, it happened last week Friday – it felt kinda weird too – kinda like I just didn’t understand what was happening. 


One of the worst things that can happen if you walk with a cane is when/if the cane does not go where you expect it to go. I’m minding my own business trying to get wherever as “fast” as i can and I move the cane into position and something’s in its way.  Remember, it’s part of my anatomy, it’s how I walk so its equivalent to a regular person’s tripping on something.  Well last week I was walking on a hard wood floor (the bottom of the cane MIGHT also have been a little wet) and well, I placed it and it slid across the floor. UGH!  Of course I tried to fight gravity but it usually wins and, well, it did. It happened in front of G and K.  K said she heard it/me first, turned around and saw me go down in slow motion, yet she couldn’t do anything to stop it.  G picked up the cane and looked at the bottom and found something stuck there – who knows, maybe that also contributed to it.

I banged up my elbow rhell hard, so that hurt for a while after. I also scratched it up so I currently have some scars in the area.  The next day, G and I were talking and when I showed her my elbow, she commented, “you rhell resilient yes” and she’s right on some level – I’ve had so many bruises and scars as a result of falling; walking round looking like a lil chile with all my battle scars. 


I do marvel at the ability of the body to heal itself; the fact that everything just goes back to normal sometimes and you wouldn’t even know that there once was a problem is quite amazing to me.  

Anyhoo, lemme go and nurse my elbow back to normal…hol it dong until next time!

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