Category: Random Thoughts

My “daily” shot routine

So, u’d think that taking the shot will get easier over time.  Well it did and it dint for me. 

There are 7 sites on my body that i rotate to take them.  I think that the woman who gave me instructions on how to administer was a “crackhead”.  She said that there are 7 sites, but if u dont feel comfortable, u can use only 2 – WRONG!!  or maybe i should say that that was ill advised…2 of the side effects of the medication (esp at the beginning) are swelling and itching at the site, so imagine using the same site over and over and over…it doesn’t make for a pleasant experience.  When i realized that using my legs alone was not a good idea, i branched out to the other sites – arms/hips and then eventually convinced myself that i should start using my stomach (that was the one that i was really afraid of).  At first, i had to keep a diary to record which site i used until it became a routine…

  • Monday – left arm
  • Tuesday – right arm
  • Wednesday – Stomach
  • Thursday – left leg
  • Friday – right leg
  • Saturday – left hip
  • Sunday – right hip
Well…that is where it became easier over time…the routine and it doesnt swell/itch anymore.  Where it DIDNT become easier is my remembering to take the damn thing everyday.  What the?!?!?  That couldn’t be normal…how the heck could u have been doing something for 3 years and then all of a sudden forget to take it some days???  I admitted it to my doctor; i couldn’t tell a lie when he asked me how it’s going (it’s not very frequent but still).  I really think that it’s my subconcious playing tricks on me…esp when i have to use my legs because they hurt the most (I actually DREAD thursday and Friday mornings because of that).
If we’re out, “G” or “A” will turn to me and ask, “Miss (My girl), have u taken ur shot?” and sometimes I have no choice but to meekly respond that i didn’t because i just totally forget!

My "daily" shot routine

So, u’d think that taking the shot will get easier over time.  Well it did and it dint for me. 

There are 7 sites on my body that i rotate to take them.  I think that the woman who gave me instructions on how to administer was a “crackhead”.  She said that there are 7 sites, but if u dont feel comfortable, u can use only 2 – WRONG!!  or maybe i should say that that was ill advised…2 of the side effects of the medication (esp at the beginning) are swelling and itching at the site, so imagine using the same site over and over and over…it doesn’t make for a pleasant experience.  When i realized that using my legs alone was not a good idea, i branched out to the other sites – arms/hips and then eventually convinced myself that i should start using my stomach (that was the one that i was really afraid of).  At first, i had to keep a diary to record which site i used until it became a routine…

  • Monday – left arm
  • Tuesday – right arm
  • Wednesday – Stomach
  • Thursday – left leg
  • Friday – right leg
  • Saturday – left hip
  • Sunday – right hip
Well…that is where it became easier over time…the routine and it doesnt swell/itch anymore.  Where it DIDNT become easier is my remembering to take the damn thing everyday.  What the?!?!?  That couldn’t be normal…how the heck could u have been doing something for 3 years and then all of a sudden forget to take it some days???  I admitted it to my doctor; i couldn’t tell a lie when he asked me how it’s going (it’s not very frequent but still).  I really think that it’s my subconcious playing tricks on me…esp when i have to use my legs because they hurt the most (I actually DREAD thursday and Friday mornings because of that).
If we’re out, “G” or “A” will turn to me and ask, “Miss (My girl), have u taken ur shot?” and sometimes I have no choice but to meekly respond that i didn’t because i just totally forget!

Fete-in

has taken on a new meaning for me.  Back in the day in Atlanta, i was 1 of the students; we would get to the fete (party) and IT WAS ON!!!  d fete/wine now start!

That was then…

those days are gone…I was at the Destra/Faye Ann concert here earlier this year, standing at the back (with my chair!) and someone came up to me and said, “what u doing here? this is not u…u supposed to be in the middle of the crowd up there.”  He was one of those people who used to be at those parties back in the day and knew me.  I told him the truth, briefly – sometimes it’s just easier to tell the truth – me cyah bother lie.  That truth is that I am stiff a whole helluva lot, will start to dance/wine and then be out of time because of the stiffness/shit going on with my legs/feet.  Half the time too, i’m afraid that i might lose my balance and fall.  *GASP*; so not cool…so i just lime on the sidelines/in the back and enjoy from there.

so fete now start – on the sidelines, but we jes listening to the music and watchin everybody else get on bad; that can be almost as much fun.
Feting on the Sidelines

Carnival *sigh!*

I cannot play mas again! WOWZER!!! it’s just too heartbreaking to be in the middle of it and not be on the road; hence my breakdown in DC last year.  One of my favorite lines in “Unconditional Love” by Machel Montano is “we hypnotized by the music from d truck so we walking for miles”; it’s such a true statement and really captures the essence of Carnival…well 5 mins into walking those miles, my ass would have to stop! 

We have come up with a way around it of course…we only play in bands that we have contacts/know the leaders, so that we can organise for me to be on a truck.  For the past 2 years in DC (it’s the only mas that i actually play in up here), I’ve been a fixture on the drinks truck in one of the bands – and that’s my parade.  It could be worse, it could have been that i didn’t even have that option.

I don’t think that i want to go back home for carnival ever again – at least not while suffering from Foot Drop/weakness.  While i am not a burden to my friends here, i know that Trini carnival is a whole nother beast and i cannot/will not slow them down besides, if i cried down the place in DC, what the hell would happen on Independence Square!

My Support Group Part II aka My family

“the ‘rents” are not here; they are still at home in Trinidad.  I know that my mother wishes that she were here to be with me while i was being tested and the diagnosis, but I had the next best thing; Gib was here.  Many times i also wished she were here too, i dunno bout allyuh, but when I get sick, she is the first person I call…but it is what it is and she lives at home.  I’ve also called her to be “talked off the ledge” a time or 2 and as I mentioned before she has told me that i cannot return the disease, i have to live with it.

I have to credit them both for my positive outlook on this situation.  Anyone who knows OB knows that he is the life of the party without even trying too hard and Learls, even tho she is more reserved, eh too backward herself.  I know that i have their support – even across the ocean and they are just as “in this thing” as Gib is.  As I’ve mentioned before in tru Trini stylin, there is never a dull moment when we’re together.  Laughs/jokes/picong (trash talk) cyah done…that is the best way we know how to deal with difficult albeit serious situations.  “S” calls it “my caribbean/Trini way of thinking”.  We really try to make the best of a bad situation and i don’t waste time on things I cannot change or control.

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