Category: Random Thoughts

So…since being diagnosed i do have some fears.

• FALLING – this actually is one of my biggest fears; what if I fall and hurt myself; sometimes i am so stiff and have little balance – did I mention that i live in a 3 story townhouse?  I have to contend with 32 steps everyday!  When I do go into the office, I work downtown on Peachtree St.  For those of u who don’t know, Peachtree is the Frederick St of Atlanta.  i am so afraid of falling on Peachtree St, that i feel ill just thinking about it!

• Not being able to walk – probably a close 2nd.  I know that this is also not the end of the world, but it is what it is…
• Pain; I can’t say this enuf – I am LUCKY; these days i have no pain
• The unknown – the thing about MS is that it affects people differently.  At any given time, who knows what the disease may have in store for me
•  Falling and not being able to get up
• Holding babies – esp if I’m standing up; suppose i am holding 1 and i fall!
• Walking between cars in a parking lot; this probably is not so much a fear as something i dislike doing – esp when 1 of the cars is not mine…suppose i lose my balance and end up falling/leaning on 1 of the cars!
• Wearing heels…yes because u guessed it – i WILL break my ass (fall)

• Stay away from the babies – unless i’m sitting down
• Cross the street very carefully only at the crosswalk and ALWAYS wait for the light (no guarantee, but worth a shot)
• Wear slippers & sneakers almost everywhere i go; helps me to be sure footed

I joined the team i’m on at work in March 2007, just before “my episodes” started happening.  By the time they were in full force, i decided that i had to tell my manager something; I couldn’t keep this from her even though we are a virtual team and she was in Arizona at the time.  I told her my “little tale of woe” and she was most understanding and, in fact, it was her encouragement that eventually led me to the discovery of the Multiple Sclerosis Center of Atlanta. 

I’ve spoken to other people who’ve hidden their medical issues from their managers – I’m not a believer in that.  I feel as though, at the minimum, your immediate manager should know what’s going on.  Now, realistically speaking, not everyone may be as understanding as my manager, but i do think that it’s important that they be kept in the loop because u just never know what might happen to you and what u might need from them 1 day.

I am LUCKY!  When i joined the team i was working from home 2 days a week, now i work from home permanently.  Not having to fight with getting ready to go to an office, fighting traffic (MS or no MS, let’s keep it real), having to explain myself to people when things are a little off and a HUGE fear that i have (story for a later posting) are small things that I am grateful for.  I am also grateful for an understanding, supportive manager with whom i can be totally honest every step of the way.

I joined the team i’m on at work in March 2007, just before “my episodes” started happening.  By the time they were in full force, i decided that i had to tell my manager something; I couldn’t keep this from her even though we are a virtual team and she was in Arizona at the time.  I told her my “little tale of woe” and she was most understanding and, in fact, it was her encouragement that eventually led me to the discovery of the Multiple Sclerosis Center of Atlanta. 

I’ve spoken to other people who’ve hidden their medical issues from their managers – I’m not a believer in that.  I feel as though, at the minimum, your immediate manager should know what’s going on.  Now, realistically speaking, not everyone may be as understanding as my manager, but i do think that it’s important that they be kept in the loop because u just never know what might happen to you and what u might need from them 1 day.

I am LUCKY!  When i joined the team i was working from home 2 days a week, now i work from home permanently.  Not having to fight with getting ready to go to an office, fighting traffic (MS or no MS, let’s keep it real), having to explain myself to people when things are a little off and a HUGE fear that i have (story for a later posting) are small things that I am grateful for.  I am also grateful for an understanding, supportive manager with whom i can be totally honest every step of the way.

I gave blood yesterday.  I’ve been doing so for a while now…at least since 2007 and it never gets any easier; the diameter of the needle is (—–) at least that. oye! (k, maybe a slight exageration on my part, i’m known for that, but it’s close).  It sill hurts and practically leaves a hole in my arm.  I tell the associate EVERY single time that they have 1! shot and that’s it – no do overs, poking around trying to find the vein, none of that.  If u miss on ur first try is ah hard luck (too bad)!  Not my problem

i’m a pint low…u have to forgive me for not writing anymore today – i get 1! free pass.

Join the American Red Cross and become a blood donor today!

I’d been thinking about starting a blog to write my MS story for a few months now.  Even tho i was tossing the idea around, i never gave it too much thought because:

• I never had a diary (i tried, but never could never get past the 1st page)
• I am shy (some people say otherwise, but i really am)
• I barely understood the whole concept of blogging
• I didn’t think anyone would really be interested in my story
• What if i have nothing to write about, then what?

I told a couple people and they all said, yes, that would be a good idea, but i still wasn’t convinced.  Then one day, i was playing around, kinda bored and logged onto this site and published 1 post.  I told “S” i was going to do it and he encouraged me; told me that i had a good story to tell.  The first post was short and i really wasn’t sure how i would continue.  Well!  It’s been 19! (but who’s counting) posts later and i can safely say that i am thoroughly enjoying it – never in a million years would i have thought that i’d actually want to tell this story. 

At first, i would ask people if they would read it and then send the link but then, slowly but surely i realized that while this is cathartic and therapeutic to me, it’s touched people in ways that I NEVER expected and so i’ve been sharing the link and letting people know that if they think someone else might benefit from how I’ve been handling the situation, forward it along.  The responses I’ve gotten from allyuh (y’all/ u all) have been tremendous/awesome (i can’t say that word, i sound like a fool when i do; but I CAN write it). 

So “THANK YOU!!!” for allowing me to share and honestly, I think it’s also made me realize that i really am handling this “awful” situation in the best way possible.