Tag: hate

good grief!

have i ever mentioned that i hate having ms?  i do!!

so i got some new boots.  they are cool and they are tall boots with no zip so i have to pull them on and off as i go.  This morning i had an appointment with the devil (my dentist); i put on the boots and off i went.  i got back home and needed to take them off so i could walk around with ease in the house.

i’m not sure if i ever mentioned before but the left side of my body is my probelm side.  Everything always happens on the left side

  • the first sign that prompted me to go to a doctor that eventually led to my diagnosis was twitching of my left eyebrow
  •  the vision of my left eye was off 2 years prior to my diagnosis, 
  • my left foot would drag more etc etc – 

and in general, it’s weaker than my right.  Well i go to pull off the right boot with my left hand this morning and NOTHING.  the blasted boot would not budge.  Try as I might, I couldn’t, for the life of me, find the strength to pull off the boot.  WTF????  i’m heading out later – i had visions of having to keep the bloody thing on until i returned and then ask my friend to pull it off for me before i go in the house.

well my persistence finally paid off; i was so determined to get the shit off – someone from my past always used to say “persistence is the key” I finally i was able to get it off and pelt it way.

Did i ever mention that i hate having MS???  i DO!!!!

AARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

I hate Multiple Sclerosis! 
There!  I’ve said it loud and proud!!  so i went to my neuro on Tuesday and what did he tell me?  more of the same bullshit “Tysabri needs at least 6 months before we start seeing any effects”, “we have to give it time”.  He also said that treating the MS is about trying to find that balance – finding the right drugs to help but not so much that the side effects have u going out of ur mind, exercising but not so much that u get too hot and start to overheat and feel terrible, eating well but not so much that you end up depriving ur body of essential nutrients that it needs – WTF!??!  is it really all about trial and error???  ARGH!!!!
Anyhoo, so on that note, i’ve added yet another small white pill to my collection.  this one is even more powerful than the others because it’s 4mg and i only am taking 1/2 – and again, i was the drowsiest i’ve ever been in my life after i took the first one.  The difference with this drowsiness was that it only lasted about 3 hrs not the entire day like the last time – go figure.  I hope that this passes soon because it’s a drowsy, drunken feeling that I’d rather not experience again (the last time i was only drowsy the 1st day).  This one is also for Spasticity which is what he suspects is causing my walking problems these days.  Good news/bad news.  Hopefully I won’t be as stiff as I have been but not so much that my legs feel like jelly!  Shit, we all know what that means – more falling for me – WHOOHOO!!!
I hate having MS!  I’ve said it again – loud and proud.  what i hate about it the most is all the unknowns:
  • Don’t know what causes it
  • Don’t know what cures it
  • Don’t know y u have it
  • Don’t know what course it will take/how it will affect you
  • Don’t know how long you will experience what you are going thru right now   
the list can go on…and on and on.

Allright, I’m off my soapbox now 🙂

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