Author: Stax

LMAO!!

hmmm…

some people may think that i don’t take this disease seriously enuf because i make jokes.  I do take it seriously, i take all the stupid ass pills, i go for my infusions, i don’t put myself in situations where i may get hurt (not willingliy) and i am afraid of what it can potentially do to me.  The truth is that (i can’t say this enuf) if i don’t laugh, i certainly will cry and those feelings of “feeling sorry for urself” and “why me” are just not anything that i like to go thru – for what?  nothing’s going to change, i just have to deal. 

So i take the disease very seriously, the situations i find myself in sometimes? not so much!

I have an eliptical machine at home – going to a gym is just not an option for me (i’ll break my ass on the way out and that is NOT an option), so i had the opportunity to get a machine for free and i grabbed it.  Yesterday i decided to go on the machine – as usual – this is nothing new, i actually use the damn thing somewhat regularly.  when i was done it was time to come off – obviously…well, this is where it can get a little tricky.

By the time i’m done, things are a little out of whack of course but i am always able to come off even tho my legs are usually weaker than normal.  well not yesterday!  i got stuck on the bloody eliptical machine…somehow my left foot (that bloody weaker one) got stuck (trapped) somewhere at the bottom of the machine between all it’s legs and not for the life of me, could i raise it up to get it out.  Thank goodness there was something for me to lean on so i wouldn’t break my ass and who knows what else as i landed.  Did i mention that since it was my left foot that was caught, i had to stand on my right foot which has only recently healed from my fall?!?!?!

When i was done laughing at myself, i called G because she was on the way home and i figured maybe i’d stay there until she got home, but alas she was not close.  I had to muster all the strength i could to haul my foot out of the machine and eventually i did…i actually felt quite accomplished….

gotta laugh – sometimes the shit is just too funny

That Time Again…

it’s Carnival season…*sigh*

I’ve mentioned before that i will never go back home for carnival  – i tear up on Georgia Ave in DC every time i’m there; i teared up a little on the truck in Miami last year – what will i do if i go back home?  Bawl down the place like a baby – that’s what (it won’t be pretty).

Carnivals up here are NOTHING compared to the real thing.  I can handle going to the parties and being on the trucks here, but there is no way i can survive doing that at home – there is no way!  This year, i’m happy (secretly, selfishly) that only 1 of the crew is heading home.

Now, just because i know that i cannot and will not go home for Carnival doesn’t mean that i don’t get into the season.  I mentioned in an earlier post that the music is on point this year – just about everyone is batting for six.  The thing is that even if i didn’t want to get into the season, i don’t think i could help it.  I listen to Red all day long (when i’m not on calls) – i can’t work in silence – so music has to be playing.  In fact, during this time, i’m glad i don’t have to go to an office because i can listen to it as loud as i want to without having to think of anybody else.

Carnival is the 1 time that i really miss home every year – even if for a fleeting moment.

  • The energy
  • The happy times
  • The lime
2nd to none…

Showing solidarity on the truck 🙂

Whoa!

I’m not complaining – I swear i’m not (u all know that i of all people am not)…but 70degrees in FEBRUARY!!??!!!  the world is coming to an end – what the?!?!?!  of course, next week it’ll probably snow – such is the weather in Atlanta – steups!! (sorry folks, i have no idea how to translate – it’s a teeth sucking noise that we Trinis do)

Anyhoo, I’ve said before that sometimes i think that insurance is 1 of the biggest ripoffs ever.  But boy am i thankful for it.  My mother is an Executive Agent at Guardian Life and many good things have happened to her since working at Guardian Life and she is doing extremely well there – extremely grateful for that!  Yesterday i got a bill for my last infusion in the mail.  My copay is $40 on the day of and then i normally get a bill for 4.79.  Yesterday when i opened the bill, it was 23.95 – so, of course i needed to understand y it had jumped so much all of a sudden. and i logged onto the insurance co website.

well i discovered that by the time i’d started infusions last year, i’d already met my deductible for the year – hence the low bill (I’d spent so much on my health last year).  Of course i haven’t done anything for this year as yet, so i have to meet my deductible before anything insurance kicks in.  Okay, i can live with that.

Then i saw the actual cost of the infusion – 5032 big ones every month!!  EVER GRATEFUL for the INSURANCE!!!!!!  how do sick people without it deal?  I guess they just deal with their ill health???  There was NO way that i could pay $5k monthly; i’d have to do an infusion a  year or something.  Maybe for sick people, insurance is not a the biggest ripoff afterall
🙂

Rhell (Real) Weird

My ankle is 99.9% healed – I have no pain, only if I twist the food inwards (very slight) – and how normal is that???  I have downgraded from the boot to a splint (i’ve actually had this injury before (2 prior falls!!) and i guess something told me all those years ago to hang on to the splint) so I’ve been wearing that for the last few days.

Anyhoo, I kid you not, when i had on the boot, all other issues disappeared – everything was normal.  Maybe the man above gave me a break because dealing with the boot and MY normal would have been pressha.

Now, it’s off and i’m back to MY normal; i swear i feel like i just want to wear the boot just because – i could alternate feet weekly.

oh well, wha yuh go do?

Uncertainty of Life

life has no guarantees!

As i’ve gotten older, i really get the meaning of “life has no guarantees” and life’s being so uncertain.  is it that when I was younger, I felt so invincible that I never really “got it”?  or is it that i was lucky and in my younger days hadn’t had to deal with too many instances of sickness, poor health, death that it never really struck me that nothing is guaranteed in life?  We take so much for granted all the time and in an instant, things can change – at times with no warnings.

My grandmother died last week; she would have been 100 on March 26th.  She was strong and healthy up until 5 days before she died and when things started going downhill, they went very quickly.  No-one wants to see a loved one die, but we can take comfort in the fact that she lived a very long, full life and brought us many, many, many joys during her lifetime.

Her funeral was a celebration of her life and not focused on the mourning of her death.  She will always be loved and will be missed by everyone who loved her.

Follow Me

Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox: