Author: Stax

i didn’t want to drive myself so i asked S-dee to take me and off we went (i used my scooter).  I saw Beverly (my favorite nurse practitioner) to do something called a relapse evaluation.  as we were going thru the exam, she explained to me that one of the things that could happen is that if i contracted any kind of infection, my immune system will have kicked into overdrive to fight it and that exaggerates whatever MS symptoms might be plaguing us at the time.  infection?  i have no infection do I?  i didn’t think so…well wouldn’t you know it, I did.  really?  what??  is that what’s going on???  is it really that “simple”?  she decided to give me a 3day bout of steroids (to help with my MS related increased instability) and prescribed some antibiotics to fight the infection.  i heard 3 days and got concerned because the thought of having to go in there for the next 2 days (got the 1st one that day) – well that would be difficult.  turns out, they could send a nurse to me that thursday and friday for a home visit.  GREAT!! so at that point, only time would tell if that was really what was going on and i would get back to normal.

the exam over (and I, having some answers and hope), S-dee and i made our way back to the car to leave.  i got off the scooter,  she proceeded to dismantle it and put it in the car, i took 2 steps to get to the front door and went down and went down HARD!!!!  (it appears that i may have tripped on my pants that needed to be folded – fcuking a! Stacey)  Luckily i have some padding round the hips/ass area, so my right hip (i fell on my side) took the brunt of the fall, but i hit my head and it hurt.  in fact, when i sat up, i felt lil woozy and all i wanted to do was lay flat on that parking lot ground.  i guess it couldn’t have happened in a better place, so (after i was able to stand up and move) we just made our way back upstairs and this time i saw a doctor from the internal medicine department.  he gave me a through exam (in fact at some point, i said to myself, “instead of asking me all these damn questions, you can just look in my chart and find all the answers. of course good thing he WAS asking me those kinda questions) and when he was satisfied that i was lucid and ok, he told me that i probably had a slight concussion.  he sent me on my way but also told me that if ANYTHING were to change, call them back or go straight to an ER etc…of course, my original plan was to go back to work after the MSCA but that was thrown out the window as soon as i fell so i went home and just took it easy for the rest of the day.

the time between then and now I’ve been getting better and feeling more and more like Stax vs. who the hell is this person and where did she come from.  i would venture out (now and again) but i have to admit that i was not as sure of myself as in the past and it was almost like i didn’t trust my body/myself a whole lot…i believe that i’m back to normal now though because i went out yesterday and things were fine, so i guess it really was that “simple” and all i had to do was get rid of the infection so that things could go back to normal.  i still have some (very slight) positional vertigo only when i get in and out of bed but i’m sure that too will get better with time….

so i’ve had a rough week.  the first time that i noticed that “things weren’t right was Monday.  I had a dentist appointment and for whatever reason, i WAS SO VERY STIFF.  i was still moving on my own but things were just not normal.  at one point, the hygienist even asked me if i was getting worse because 3 people from the office were trying to help me out.  at some point, they told me to just sit on an office chair and they wheeled me where i need to go.  by the time i got home, i was feeling a little better but…

Tuesday after work i just didn’t want to move from where i was.  My trainer cancelled and when i found out, i just didn’t move for about 1 1/2 hrs and then it hit me.  i’ve mentioned here before (i think) that if i stay in the sun for too long (GASP!!), my limbs jes get rhell heavy and it’s a chore to do anything – well that’s how i’d been feeling for most of the day…problem was, there is no sun INSIDE!!!  oh no…what the hell is this???  i didn’t feel badly, i don’t feel sick but things just weren’t right.

• is it the rebound effect?
• is it a flare up?
• is it because i have no medication in my system?
• is the MS rearing its ugly head because i’m actually really frustrated and unhappy at work?
• oh no…am i getting worse???????

the last time i went to see my neuro, Dr. G, he told me specifically that he wanted me to have 2 sessions of steroids 3 weeks apart and that even tho there was no waiting period with switching from Tysabri to Tecfidera, he wanted the Tysabri completely out of my system first (should have been my first clue that there is some kinda waiting period).  anyhoo, so i left the exam room, went to the front desk and made my 2 steroid appointments – 5/10 and 5/31.

last week thursday, my phone started blowing up from the MSCA.  well i’ve been really busy, so by the time i called the chick back, she’d just walked out the door.  finally (after some more phone tag) we connected Friday just before it was time for me to leave for the appointment.  that’s when i found out that:

• steroid sessions are supposed to be 4 weeks apart
• there is actually an 8 week waiting period before which i can start Tecfidera

STEUPS!!

He told me that i could start in the first week of June, hence the reason i should be getting my shipment today (or tomorrow)…well luckily i didn’t actually start anything so i’ve pushed my start date to 6/9.  when she found out that i’d only had 1 steroid session, she said that it would be okay to keep the appointment on 5/31 even tho it had only been 3 weeks…i just cyah bother get all upset; makes no sense but would have been nice to know all this up front.

• i am no longer afraid of falling (sort of).  i don’t WANT to fall but it’s such a part of my life now that i don’t fear it as much as maybe “hope for the best” when it happens (which has not been a recent occurrence *knock on wood*)
• walking between cars is a non issue (for the most part) since i have my handy dandy cane (i’m up to 10 by the way…excessive?  maybe but i don’t care)

the others are still on the list…fear of not being able to walk, pain, the unknown (all justifiable in my book).  in addition, i am afraid of…

sneezing when i’m not around something that i can hold on to.  those who know me know that this is can happen often.  my sinuses don’t act up like they used to but i sneeze more often than a regular person (i’m sure) and if i’m walking or can’t hold on when it happens, it’s a precarious position for me.

walking in the wind.  “what??” u say.  1 of the earliest memories i have of myself is walking in Toronto between my aunt and my mother in my little red, shiny jacket.  it was WINDY and as they were walking forward each holding 1 of my hands, the breeze was pushing me back! well. it’s the same thing now…i just know that i’m so friggin shaky now that a lil hard breeze will send me packing – cane and all – and i’m deathly afraid of that happenin.