Where the heck did I go and pick up this disease? Why me? Dunno that I’ll ever get that question answered but with some luck maybe i will in my lifetime. Anyhoo having MS makes me feel:
- Loved – don’t get me wrong. I knew I was loved before but the things people (my family, the inner, outer & outer outer circles) are willing to do for me at a moment’s notice if necessary, are never ending, unceasing and amazing.
- Resentful – I HATE MS and being sick
- Scared – I know no one knows what the future has in store, but I sometimes feel anxious because I don’t know what this disease has in store for me and what may happen tomorrow morning when i wake up – hell what it could do in the next couple hours
- Like I’m regressing in life – the natural progression of things is NOT to buy your first house and then move out of it into an apartment. I know that it’s to make my life easier blah, blah, blah, but…On the other hand, i do have a jump start on walking with a cane tho. I once overheard 1 lil chile (i didn’t know) tell another, “she’s old.” yes – she was talking bout me.
- Tired – I get so tired, sometimes, of needing/wanting help. A few weeks ago, I asked G if she doh tire of helping me out. She said no but she does tire of my trying to do things on my own when I know that it may not work out (I don’t do that a lot but…)
- Lonely – I’ve learned to lime by myself. If we’re in a fete and everybody is doing the normal thing people do – walking around socializing, I can’t/don’t/won’t in the scooter, so I’m by myself often. It’s all good – I’m a cool person to lime with 🙂
I really can go on…I keep thinking of words to add to the list but I’ll stop – maybe i’ll do another installment sometime; that’s it for today.
As u were!
