Many people have told me, “love your attitude, u’re dealing with this really well” etc. Hell, i wrote about it myself a little while ago – i’m coping with this disease the best i know how…but I can’t help but wonder tho, “Am i being naive/just plain stupid?” i’m not normally 1 to wear rose coloured glasses and see life as a bunch of roses, but i refuse to let My Situation get me down – don’t think my friends will let it happen anyway.
Reading about other people’s experiences (what i may have to “look forward” to) is sometimes depressing/alarming/scary. It makes me more determined to fight the shit and fight it hard, but i can’t help but think “is my fighting in vain?” – i’m going to PT, taking all these drugs, working out…is it all for naught?
- sometimes i want to stop taking the drugs, of course when i miss a dose i swear i can tell the difference.
- I will save so much money if i give up my personal trainer – but then I cannot go to a regular gym, do anything on my own and try to walk out of there because that is just a recipe for disaster
- My PT appts. are at 7:30am so that work is not affected (my manager gives me enuf slack as it is – so i’m trying not to take advantage of that) so of course i have to wake up at the crack of dawn to get there on time…fun fun – not so much!!
Would all of that stop the MS in its tracks? Will they dissuade it from completely consuming me? How much (if at all) will/could doing all those things slow the progression of the disease? will my +ve attitude turn into a -ve one or just how long will all this positivity last?
I continue to have so many fears of what the future could hold, what could possibly happen on any given day when i wake up? what is the MS’s plan?
so many questions with so few answers.
