So I mentioned in my last post that the friend came up to me in the cooler fete and told me that he admired me for not allowing the MS to keep me from having a good time. I’m limin hard, fetin up a storm (partying), driving (again some say like a bat out of hell, i beg to differ) and livin like i don’t have a degenerative, incurable, neurological disease! my response to that is that I HAVE TO!!! I’m taking all the bloody pills and shots (WOOHOO, last nite i threw out all the shots i had left; I can barely remember the last time i injected myself; can’t wait for the new treatment to start), exercizing and managing the disease as best as I possibly can but I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to stop doing shit that makes me happy.
I’ve mentioned before that driving is the only time that i feel like I’m on level playing field with everyone else…there’s no stiffness, foot dragging, needing to sit, blah blah blah; I feel totally normal. I’m not going to stop driving jes because something MIGHT happen at some point. Is that stupid? some may think so but F*CK IT; I’m not giving it up. Sometimes, if someone asks me in shock/horror if I’m doing something/going somewhere alone, I feel a little resentful (i know it’s genuine concern and I really do appreciate it), but somewhere deep inside, i want to say that i’m not trying to be a burden to anyone and there are some things that I CAN/WILL do on my own.
- Am i going to go to a fete by myself? NO!
- Will I go shopping alone? Absolutely – I’m not much of a shopper, but I can spend hours in my favorite store, but as soon as shit starts feeling weird and going wrong, I am out of there!